Emmett's Dirty Little Tricks
by Smiles4Twilight
Summary: All the tricks that Emmett has pulled on his family have knocked them over the edge. A prank war is about to begin and this time, Emmett may not be the winning side. Rated T for language? ExB ExR JxA CxE
1. Bella and Emmett

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I have never owned Twilight. And I do not plan to own Twilight any time in the near future, other than in my dreams. That right is reserved for Stephanie Meyer, and Stephanie Meyer only.**

**Emmett's Dirty Little Tricks**

**Chapter 1:**

**Bella and Emmett:**

Bella walked casually down the stairs of her new house. It had been about two months sense her beloved vampire, Edward Cullen, had proposed and they had gotten married. After the honeymoon, she decided that she wanted to stay human a little longer to enjoy… various things.

She walked past her new brother, Emmett, not intending on giving him a second glance. However, he called her attention like so many others, "Bella, How is mike doing?" he asked.

Sighing, she replied, "I have not seen Mike in almost two years. Why don't you pick up a phone book and call him if you're so curious."

She turned to walk away, but once again, he stopped her, "Bella?" he called in the same tone. Not one note was out of place.

"Yes Em?" she asked, becoming slightly frustrated.

"How is Erik, oh and Tyler?" he asked. He knew exactly what he was doing, and it was becoming apparent, now.

The brunette girl sighed again, though this time it was long and drawn out. Not excepting no as an answer, Emmett waited for his sister's reply. "Honestly, I don't know. I don't keep tabs on people like you."

"And Edward?" Emmett asked. He didn't even bother too acknowledged her last comment.

"He's fine," Bella said, turning on one heel and walking away before he could say anything else. However, her attempt failed.

Emmett chuckled, "I'll bet he is."

Her curiosity got the better of her, "What do you mean?"

Emmett shrugged, "Well we all know why you married him…" he smiled, "So it's obvious that he's getting some…"

He trailed off leaving Bella to blush and walk out of the room, quickly.

"Was it something I said?" he called after her, knowing fully well that it was.

**(A/N: So, it doesn't even matter if this story sucks because I've already got the entire thing written. I'm going to update once every day for those of you who actually care… or have obligations as my best friends XD. But just because I'm updating doesn't mean I don't like reviews!)**


	2. Alice and Emmett

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or it's characters.**

**Alice and Emmett:**

"Where are my credit cards?" Alice screamed, banging her tiny fist against the wall of Emmett and Rosalie's bedroom. The wall gave way and Rosalie gave a little squeak of surprise but Emmett was now grinning from ear to ear.

"Where are they?!" The pixie roared, now grabbing a hold of Emmett's shirt, almost ripping the thin fabric with her fingers.

Emmett's smile didn't falter as he replied, "Why, whatever are you talking about sister dear?"

"My credit cards you incompetent ass!" she screamed.

The brawny man stood up and walked over to a cabinet that Alice was sure, held her precious babies. "You mean these?" He asked, pulling them out of the cabinet and waving the around in the air.

"Yes!" Alice sighed with relief, walking over to her brother and reaching out to them. Just as her fingers were about to brush the smooth plastic, Emmett pulled them out of her reach.

"Jump for it!" Emmett encouraged, holding it as high as arms and large frame would allow him. Alice jumped after her plastic money but to no avail. Every time she would get close, Emmett would see her coming and would pull them out of her reach.

"You know," he joked as if his balls weren't on the line, "If you were only a few inches shorter, you could actually be considered a midget."

To his surprise, Alice smirked and walked over to his bed, lifting up the fabric that covered up under his bed. This revealed allot of things that Emmett had stolen and successfully "hidden" from the rest of the family.

Rosalie's mouth opened in awe before closing and her face became angry at the sight of the shirt that she had been looking for weeks came into view. "Emmett!" she roared before running after her husband.

Emmett had taken off so fast that Alice's credit cards lay forgotten on the floor. "I believe that's 124256: Alice 0:Emmett." She muttered to herself.

**Author's Note: I honestly have all of the chapters written. I just forgot to update for months upon months. I'm sorry guys! If you want to send me hate mail, feel free.**


	3. Jasper and Emmett

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight, its characters, or their awesomeness. **

**Emmett and Jasper**

"Don't do it," Jasper warned.

Emmett's face held the most innocent expression one could have, "What do you mean?"

"You're having a mischievous moment."

"No I'm not!" Emmett argued to no avail.

"Edward, what is he going to do?" Jasper asked his reliable brother… or so he thought.

Edward smirked, "No, way this is too good."

All the Cullens were at the lunch table, well that and Bella, trying to enjoy a pleasant eating free lunch (except Bella again who was chowing down on pizza).

For the first time ever, Bella saw Jasper grow worried V.S. apathetic and actually got scared.

This must have been it because Emmett got very close, uncomfortably close to Jasper. Jasper cringed for what would happen next.

"YOUR BREAKING UP WITH ME?!" Emmett shouted, it looked so real that Bella imagined tears streaming from his face.

"What?!" Jasper asked appalled.

The entire lunch room was now staring at their table. Everyone was dead silent, except for Emmett that is, who was making horrible sobbing noises.

"I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING JASPER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!"

"What… no… I didn't!"

"NO, I CANT EVEN LOOK AT YOU! ALL THOSE NIGHTS FLASH BEFORE MY EYES, ITS JUST…. AAHHHHHH!" the chair closest to Emmett was tossed aside as he ran as fast as _humanly_ possible out of the room.


End file.
